i felt really weird the other day.. i had this odd thought.. for some reason i was thinking about my wedding and suddenly i was like.. who the hell would i have as bridesmaids.. i seriously panicked.. you know.. like everyone is in these little friendship groups and they all seem to like haging out with each other.. but they're not super tight - at least not all of them - you know what i mean? and im thinking.. so who are my good friends? and im like jodie - ahh shit, thats right.. we havent spoken in a couple of months.. whys that.. ahhh because i ditched her for latch. and i felt so shit.. then i was like.. well who else.. emily? yeah i like emily.. (we're talking again) but. yeah.. i guess i need to work on our relationship before i throw her my bouquet.. so then im like.. well i've got nicolee and felicity.. but im not going to see them for a year................ oh fuck.. i have no friends.. and so i sitting there ticking off all these people who are my friends but people who i dont.. depend on.. friends who i dont need.. you know what i mean.. i sound insane as always. and ive talked it up so i sound like im overacting but basically i came to the realistairsation.. that i dont have many real close friends.. that are close (as in, in brisbane).. so yeah.. after about half an hour i was like.. fuck it.. things will change from now to my wedding day.. people are going to die (i seriously thought that lol) people are going to move away, people are always changing.. so yeah.. i felt better.. ^ wow what a load of bullshit! but im going to message jodie and see what shes doing this weekend or next weekend... hah.. i just messaged her then..